I have learnt a lot over the last few days.
I was really struggling last week- I had been really getting into politics. Pretty quickly, I felt very down. And totally unwilling to talk to people at work. And very angry with my family.
Luckily, I hit a ‘rock bottom’ with it all Friday lunchtime. I realised I needed to get back to a better balance, and read some Stephanie Dowrick. I had tried to read her the day before, but had not enjoyed it at all.
On Friday, it was different. And immediately, I felt better for deciding to follow Stephanie’s teachings. It makes a world of difference for me
I then read something fantastic from her book ‘Everyday Kindness’. It was about successful relationships, how they need a minumum of 5 positive comments for every critical comment. Very successful relationships have a ratio of 20:1 positive:negative comments.
This really made me think- could I aim for a 5:1 ratio for praising myself and others, compared to my criticisms.
Stephanie reminded me this is crucial to aim for, for any relationship to work. I thought, well, I need a good relationship with myself, my colleagues, my family, my friends, and most importantly with life.
It has made me realise that I automatically focus on what is wrong. This 5:1 ratio really got me thinking. That I can aim for 5 positive/loving thoughts to compensate for each negative/depressing thought.
Well, I’m not there yet, at 5:1, but even having that ratio in mind is helping me to remember to have positive thoughts, and not just let my mind go wherever it wants to go, which by default seems to be towards the negative and fear-based.
Thanks for listening